I felt like I was just there to comfort him when his kids werent around…. Ironic that he wants to date a woman without kids because she has more time. In other relationships, talking about the future at all can often be exactly the catalyst to send Pan off packing for a return and permanent trip to Neverland. They are dependent on him, and as a single dad, he is committed to caring for them. I agree with many of the things you say are wrong between the relationships between men and women. What she might be thinking, her motivations for sitting at the table are for us to discover, hopefully, via clear and honest communication.
JM, thank you for your telling story. I am childless through infertility and miscarriage and am a widow. Sometimes, at a certain age, if an adult does not have kids, they define their focus in life around things like fitness, or entertainment. We find connection in many different ways, including his kids. Nothing is a big deal unless it's an actual Big Deal. But we can listen and learn. I am especially qualified to comment on this post because I have been dating a divorced guy for the last 6 weeks, and things are going very well.
The first time I met my boyfriend's child, I was times more nervous than meeting any adult.
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I have asked to take it slow, but he seemed to want to go exclusive fairly rapidly. I am childless through infertility and miscarriage and am a widow. Conversely, it means you can't let jealousy get to you with exes. Learning to integrate is one of the challenges, but blended families can double the joy and become their own healthy family unit, with all of its own security and stability. No one is putting a gun to your head and forcing you to be in this relationship. You have something real and maybe even rare with him, and the only thing either one of you wants to do is plan a life together. Someone who adores his children, and selflessly gets along with his ex wife without drama, puts all of his material wants and wishes aside so they can have what they need for school and sports… somewhere in between I have faith that we will eventually get some time for each other, and maybe have our fourth date and maybe some wild sweaty fun with no clothes?
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We need to have intellectual compatibility. But the thing is to say no thanks to such people. I forgot to take my pill yesterday. He could step up and go right back to no effort. Thanks for opening up the dialogue. Lol But the only guys that have approached or have shown interest in me are guys that just want to have sex or are interested in just having another attractive woman by their side. That would be the perfect situation for me.